Who am I as a communicator.......

The one thing that surprised me the most about the assessments I took this week was that in my verbal aggressiveness I scored a significant score which the interpretation is below:

 With little provocation, you might cross the line from argumentativeness, which attacks a person’s position or statements, and verbal aggression, which involves personal attacks and can be hurtful to the listener.

This totally surprised me because after my daughters assessed me, I scored way lower according to them. This means I judge myself too hard. I do not agree that I get involved in personal attacks. I do however; agree that I can attack the point, position or statement if it goes against my integrity and values. As the course progresses , I keep learning more and more factors that encompass communication. Some of these factors include listening skills as well as implementing skills when we articulate our thoughts.

Communicating Differently

STRANGERS, PEOPLE DIFFERENT FROM US, STIR UP FEAR, DISCONFORT, SUSPICION, AND HOSTILITY. tHEY MAKE US LOSE OUR SENSE OF SECURITY JUST BY BEING ...."OTHER".   - Henry J.M. Nouwen

I work at an elementary school that is very rich with cultural diversity. Sometimes I do catch myself communicating differently because I have realized that the words are used different in every culture. Some words that are common everyday words for me some other cultures view them as offensive, “bad words” or even “cuss words”. Since I learned this I have to be very careful how I speak and how I apply the words. Although we may not intend anything negative, sometimes unintentionally we offend someone through more subtle use and misuse of language (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).

For example in Mexico the word “Huevon” means lazy or couch potato. In other countries it means something very offensive. I have to be careful not to call the children “Huevon” whenever they are not doing their work because they might go and tell their parents I said a bad word.

Reference

Beebe, S.J., Beebe, S.J., & Redmond, M.V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to Others (6^th ed.)Boston, A: Allyn &Bacon

COMMUNICATION

 

The show I watched was a Mexican soap opera. Based on the way the characters were communicating they were involved romantically. They would both stare into each other’s eyes without paying attention to the individuals around them or their surroundings. The way they were touching was in the form of love-intimacy touch. This touch is used by romantic partners, parents, friends, family members and children. This type of touch communicates deep closeness (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012). The characters started kissing after a while communicating the love intimacy touch.

When I watched the show with the sound turned on. They were discussing the obstacles between both of them. In the scene there were a lot of tears and it was very dramatic. The assumptions I mae based on the characters was that they were going through a difficult time and they were trying to enjoy every second of each other. Although there were no sexual scenes, it was apparent they cared deeply for each other and a lot of tender kissing and caressing was going on. I think my assumptions would have been the same had I been familiar with this show. I chose this show because I had never watched it before.

COMMUNICATION TECHNIQUES

Communication skills are behaviors that help communicators achieve their goals (O’Hair & Wieman, 2012). The person that I think has competent communication behavior is my husband when he is dealing with a professional issue. I have heard him talk in the phone and very passively he can let the other person know he is not happy with them. My husband does not use profanity or raises his voice, yet; he always gets his point across. I have observed him sit through meetings and although he does not agree, he knows how to listen, analyze, and then speak. A channel is the method through which communication occurs (O’Hair & Wieman, 2012). There are various methods that may be used to make the communication easier. One method my husband likes to use is paraphrasing. My husband likes to paraphrase what the other person said and this helps clear the understanding between him and the other party involved. By paraphrasing he is assuring he is on the same page as the other person. When I first met my husband I had come from an abusive relationship and I thought talking meant yelling when you were upset. He has taught me patience and also to remain calm when I am upset or I do not agree. His communication behaviors are effective therefore I started modeling them fifteen years ago. Before I met him, I was used to walking away from a conversation when it did not go my way. His effective ways have taught me how to manage my personal life with him better as well as my professional life.

Reference

O'- Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.